Letter for Mr. Coyote

Nowadays it seems that anybody that wants to, can get on-line and make a nuisance of themselves. They'll say nasty things about other people, or just try to get everybody riled up. So I can't say I was that surprised when I got my first e-mail from one of those lowdown, lazy, stinkin' coyotes.

I believe it was one of those educated critters, probably learned to read from chewin' on some poor old feller's dictionary, or by stealin' some poor old lady's Sunday paper. He had taken time out from his busy day of chicken thievin' and generally bein' an all around botheration to try to rile old Otis. Well, Otis doesn't rile that easy.

He was braggin' about how he was his own master, and did what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it. He didn't owe nothing to no man, and lived free.

That just goes to show how deceitful and ignorant these critters are! Livin' off the labor of others and braggin' about how they live free. These coyotes seem proudest when they're stealin' some poor hard workin' farmer's chickens, or eatin' a pet cat. They think that's their fair share, just because they're coyotes.

Well, I got a four letter word for all you no-good coyote scum: WORK. Give it a try sometime and maybe you won't have to spend Thursday mornins' with your head stuck in somebody else's trash can.

And, by the way, I'm proud to be a WORKIN' hound. The food is acceptable and the health benefits are great. (I don't know about retirement, I'm still too young).

For anybody that cares or is interested, I've attached Mr. Coyotes e-mail.

( I already have plans for Thursday, but my friends Otto and Gustav plan to fill in for me. )

Deer Odis,
I'd expext a lazy hownd to wayst his tyme ritin' all about his self. An' ritin' stuff that ain't true about his Kaynine kousins. We, cyotes don't serve no man. We live free, takin' what we want, and not expextin' a han' out from no man. Come on out next Thersday. Me and my buddies will layrn you about the free life.
SINceerly,
Wile E. Cyote, Esq,