After my little rant about lazy coyotes, I received several e-mails complaining that I may have gone too far. Some even went so far as to say it was unchristian. The sternest rebuke came from Mayor Lucy Lou, first female mayor of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky:
Mr. Milkweed, before insulting and generally badmouthing someone, you should walk a mile in their moccasins. Remember what it says in the Good Book: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. If I were you, I'd follow the advice of my dear departed grandmother, "If you can't say nothing nice about someone, keep your dad-blamed trap shut!"
I put my head down between my legs and began to think. Do I harbor a grudge against coyotes? Was I prejudiced?
It turned out I was. So I'm takin' the advice of Lucy Lou, and will now say some positive things about coyotes (no matter how painful that might be).
1) Coyotes are great recyclers. They'll consume and use what others throw away.
2) Coyotes are very social. They like to eat together, and love to serve others.
3) Coyotes kill the weaker and older animals, making sure there's food for everybody else. I'm sure the weaker/older animals don't look at this as a positive, but they don't see the big picture.
4) There's nothing more fun-loving than a coyote. They can howl and party all night long.
Well, that turned out to be a lot easier than I expected. I'll keep tryin' to think of positive things to say. And by the way, if you're interested in learning more about Lucy Lou, here's a link to Rabbit Hash:
http://www.rabbithashhistsoc.org/the-mayor/current-mayor-lucy-lou/
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